Nov 27, 2014

‘About me or About you’ is really a jolting question for the candidate whether sitting before the panel giving interview for employment or selling product or meeting with executive of corporate business.

Undoubtedly “About me” or “About You” is very interesting question - it gives you an opportunity to express yourself to highlight your present, past and future in more realistic and convincing way so that the team before whom you are recounting & painting your position or about your products may trust in you and the door may open for which you are interviewed or the time has been awarded to express yourself in a piece of paper.

It’s a technique that how skillfully & with due diligence you do present yourself - how you symbolize - how magnificent & smart you are? How lenient & reliable? How loyal & dedicated? How honest & caring to your onerous responsibility and how you rendered & uphold your commitment for the given target that caused the employer or the company to attain its goal. 

Whilst illuminating your association with the previous employer you will have to evaluate that how instrumental & proportion of your contribution remained productive and profitable for the company. 

How proved yourself a well talented & aggressive maintaining your strategic role & high caliber multiplying with your diversified vision, mission & execution traits & how more you have been smart in your role that got you recognized in the company – certainly are the matrix that’s should be well known to you while juxtaposing.

Your accent, adequate words, delivery tone and body gesture of course play a very pivotal & vital role. Besides, the reason why left the job and the panel asks - why we should appoint you? How do you understand that you are fit for this position? What will you bring for us? What is the difference in between you & other candidate?  – are the question the employer puts to a candidate. 

No doubt above questions are very annoying & teasing, gets you somersault but be cool and reply patiently – because there is your emotional test – your instinct and intuition comes across so manage it calmly & handle the people and environment professionally.

The beautiful world which is adorned & illuminated with multiple color-shades meant for us & here we counter the positive and negative either separately or simultaneously so in either cases it is we who is to attend and response instead to doom the situation.

The dynamic-world where we live doesn't keep us in class room but puts in open air rather under open-sky for self-deterrent – no support - no one comes to protect & It depends that how the indispensable circumstances or prevailing situation is dealt technically and diplomatically & response for the given situation that’s plunged us.

So practically our muscle and mind both works at a time and it must work – it’s a human nature and even animal does the same thing if it faces anti-environment. But we the human-being are blessed with sense & assessment & self evaluation capability & treatment thereof whereas animal does not equip with this attributes.

It looks here that the candidate is sitting not in a meeting room but he/ she is in the ring and fighting with other wrestler to dominate or defeat – though not but it looks like even if he/ she is sitting with the employer or the team of professionals and being interviewed so be ready for rough and tough questions to conquer the field or happy ending of the meeting.

The question appears that how you speak and getting others to listen you - while getting my Blogs registered & activated with Google Ad Sense where I analyze on Politics – National Economics & Sociology – Google has a column where Bloggers have been asked to introduce or say ‘About You’.

Hi my name is Iqbal Hussain - And if you’re reading this then I guess you’re interested in learning all about me. I’m a blogger have been writing on gilded age politics dominated by corruption, as politicians took bribes and rewarded their supporters with posh government jobs. Elections had high turnout and extraordinarily close results, but neither major party pursued ambitious policies resulting the people of the country always remains vulnerable.

Mentioning the equilibrium issue, the barbarism & tyranny, atrocity & inhumanity, drought and starving, rapes & massacre, loathing & animosity, abhorrence & ignorance, obliviousness and callousness, extreme violent and cruel behavior among the nations are the issues where no nation says I am okay or we don’t have any and economic and social syndromes.

I do postmortem figuratively and highlight govt. negligence, obviousness & callousness that's becomes the topic of my analysis where govt. cheats with their voters, does not comply people mandates and let the masses to die, a license to kill.

Nov 15, 2014

The “In-laws” spoils & becomes the main reason to distort, dismantle & eclipse the golden life of husband and wife, said a groom who became the victim of in law’s rising demands and arrogant attitude.

The drum which is beaten around us, among family & friends & among our social gathering and contacts that someone has divorced his wife or wife has taken divorce because of multiple reasons.

And the circumstances encompassed between husband and wife went entwined, soured & tensed with shocking-end where the situation got them apart and the pleasant relationship ended in separation.

But the reality often does not come out that what forced the couple to go extreme whereas they were lover and beloved for each other – they were happier, living peacefully, beautifully and successfully - who worsened their happy married life & intervened & interfered in their internal affairs’ that caused to suffer ostracism.

The life were moving smoothly painted with rainbow shades - with serene and delights but what happened next – why the couple compelled & what were the constraints that coerced them to take such step and decided to break the relationship.

In most of the cases the ''In-laws'' have been the main players who ruins the marital status of the couple – the involvement either comes from bride side or the groom both family make the things thorny & feeble, cripple & tarnish resulting the couple becomes the hunt of the situation prevalent and terminates their married life.

There are myriad causes some of them are highlighted

Unstoppable demand of in-laws from the bride side to groom that get my daughter gold and diamond necklace, ear tops, gold bangles and gold belt.

Why don’t you get her new costumes – the exiting one you had bought her last year or six months before so why don’t give at this festival - you will have to give – she is my daughter and she never lived like this – the condition in which she has been confined never faced before – she was living in her parents’ house very comfortably & fulfilling every wishes - what she wanted we provided her and we managed even before the events or festivals fell – she is in embarrassment and feeling frustration so why don’t you care her, said mother in law to his son in law.

And when the bride family uses to deliver most of the house hold appliances & caring needs of her daughter, grandson & granddaughter without asking or realizing the feeling of their son in law – if the flow continues in the house such practice gets hurt the son in law – he feels disgraced & laid down - if low in resources & money-matter - he feels insult that someone supporting his family and being vulnerable raises the voice to his wife that stop receiving such bullshit.

Why don’t you stop your mother & father for not to bring the things in our house or give dresses to my children – why they are doing like this, shouted the upset husband to his wife.

If next time they brought anything I would throw out of the window – why don’t you live in the parameter where we are & in accordance with my source of income, said the husband?

Quoting examples of other relatives living in the family who are happier in their meager income, squeezing their wishes and getting it adjusted, whatever they earn gets the thing prioritize, husband urged - but the wife listened quietly and did not response anything.

It means she was not in favor to ask her parents to stop more support despite repeated request or reprimand of his husband – eventually the time came when the husband busted on his ''in-law'' and volcano that’s were maturing since long erupted that’s burnt everything.

We know that husband and wife relationship is a solemn affirmation for what they swear to be spouse for each other, to be loyal, honest and sincere for whole life goes smashed in second.

Here I quote the example of one family who wed her daughter with one of the computer engineer living in Emirates. The groom family kept silent whatever the choice or the relationship developed by her son with the outcast living in London. 

Parents of the groom never objected and always considered the preferences, happiness and wishes of their son instead to prevent or abstain him for not to marry in outcast but honored their son liking and enabled him to move ahead.

The bride family was affluent than groom – they preferred to marry following the customs & tradition they celebrate while doing marriage for their son and daughter, said mother in law to his son-in law.  

Thus the ‘’luv’’ event took place in Emirates and after some time the matrimonial gathering followed with engagement also celebrated. Then 4th time the RUKHSATI event came ahead and a date agreed in between mother in law and her son in law.

The groom family however were not in lime light of the whole episode rather in darkness as the date and schedule of the events finalized were in between mother in law and her son in law.

So exact the day when the RUKHSATI event was to celebrate in a given hotel the groom disappeared from the scene – There were uproar and everyone was looking for the groom but groom was not available, the bride family were talking and chasing him here and there but no avail.

While the bride was adorned in her specific costumes with radiant and glow of pleasures, satisfaction and happiness but the disappearance of groom of course made her upset and she also splashed here and there to get news about her husband. Legally they were husband and wife but the useless tradition i.e. RUKHSATI made the thing worse & Topsy-turvy.

The family of bride who came from London were talking with different comments that why groom sped away – what were the reasons – why he hid his face – why did not book hotel or marriage lawn to accommodate the guest arrived - if the RUKHSATI had been scheduled and agreed in between mother in law and her son in law. Everyone was looking mother in law in apprehension and in a questionable mode. Someone even commented that due to pressure on the groom he ran away.

Everyone were trying to get thread or in quest to reach the groom but no clue readily were available - lastly the bride family arranged themselves the event scheduled and left the country with daughter without son in law.

The scribe however got the opportunity to go in detail with the groom who shared his ordeal that

I had been upset from my in laws due to their rising demands – they knew well that how much I was earning – what’s my salary was – and how much other payoff I had to do every month? Also I had credit cards which required to pay too, the groom insisted in rage.

The scribe asked why did you take so many credit cards – what were your problem?

I had to pay off the bill of my last 3 events that held in the Ball Room a big event in a 7 star Hotel in Emirates where my Luv - Engagement and Matrimony had taken place for which I paid AED 120K, the groom clarified.

I had been engulfed with heavy loans that I took from different banks and had been taking time to time to meet the growing demand of my wife and in laws, groom groaned. 

My mother in law had asked me to get her daughter (my wife) a “gold belt’’ which was costing AED 36K - How I could afford – why did not my mother in law realized that it was not possible for me to get a gold belt - does it come in few fills?

I had a limited salary and no other source of income - how many time I could bear the hefty expenses of subsequent events that she wanted to book for RUKHSATI event in the same 7 star hotel's ball room & that’s the reason I sped away - I was mentally disturbed and confused that how to handle the situation, groom emphasized.

Yes it was wrong and my mistake I do apologize & instead to hide I should have told NO a big NO directly to my mother in law - this was all my fault - no excuse for my behavior and I know I hurt everyone especially my wife - I know that every coin has a flip side, so I'm certainly not blaming her for what has happened.

We all face conflict at some time in our lives. But it doesn't always have to be negative. It doesn't have to end up as a war. There is nothing more hurtful than a broken relationship. I realized that I had lost track of myself.

So I'm going to be transparent - I want to save this relationship. I cannot run away from my own problems because I am the problem, or at least the root cause, said groom candidly with certainty to revive the broken relationship of husband and wife. 

He said that I have no issue with my wife she loves me & she understands once I bring her at my house every thing will be normal - she rather told me that she never asked these thing but she is asked to demand, uttered the groom about his wife.

Though the groom has lost his job but very soon he will be in employment and he assured me that he will be in contact with his in law to establish the relationship because he loves his wife too much.

The story here concludes that ‘’In law’’ should not interfere into the lives of ''husband and wife'' and the couple should be given a free hand, a liberal atmosphere without any compulsion, coercion, any demand or pressure so that they can live dynamically with consensus, harmony and self-satisfaction. No more interruption at all please said a house wife who heard this story.